To change life, change mind first

    Recently, there was a widespread article in the social communication net, in which a middle-aged daddy released the reason why he chose to immigrate to US. He was planning to buy an appartment near a good school district, which costed him 3 millions. But the day he was going to pay the guarantee deposit, the house owner raised the price by 300 thousands. Disappointed with it, the daddy decided to put the on an investment program, which allowed him to get the green card of USA. He thought that life in Beijing was so stressful, including job, housing and education, but life in US means good education, cheaper housing and quality of free time.

    Soon, this article triggered many diffrents opinions, including thoses expressed by some American-Chinese people. A daddy wrote a long response to this man, having gone through the similar experience. He now found that the reality was not good enough. Just talking about kids, the Asian children suffer a lot in study. So many suicides occurred in Asian family because of the pressure of education. He provided many photos, which show that children spend so much time on math or other competition preparation after school, just as what children do in China. To be accepted by good universities, they should show more abilities and excellence in special fields. So Parents look for good school and prepare children to kinds of art performance or intelligent activities. If you want to live nearby a good school, you should afford the high-priced housing.

    I didn't agree with the first father who dropped all to follow the illusions in US. He just believed all the advantages in this new country but life is more detailed. I didn't agree with the second father who still sticks to the sigle-side definition of succes. In many cities, Asian people still believe that competition is the only way to make people stand and that Kids must cherish every minute to make progess.

   In a dinner with our neighbors, my husband expressed the same goal, to make Claire capable to attend good university, such as Harvard. Since she wants to be a doctor, we should put aside much money and assure her proficency in different materials.

  "But if she turns out to be an artist?" suggested one of our neighbor.

   It's true. We cannot control our kid's future, neither their path. We always put our own dream on our kids and make them accept our ideals of success. That's very stressful for them.

   Now we are living in a new coutry and the fist thing to learn is to open our mind. If not, we are still bouned with the traditional thinking that the optimal success is being a student of Harvard. University is just a step of one's life. But life is long.